Reuben’s Mistake: Why Your Subconscious Pulls You Back to Old Patterns When Manifesting

The story of Reuben going up to his father’s bed (Genesis 35:22) has long been seen as scandalous — a shocking family drama that cost Reuben his birthright. But when you look deeper, this event reveals a profound lesson about the earliest mistake we all make when trying to manifest change in our lives.

Reuben’s Act as a Symbol of Falling Back

Reuben, the firstborn son of Jacob, was meant to hold the highest position of responsibility and blessing in the family. Yet, instead of stepping into this role fully, he “went up to his father’s concubine.”

Symbolically, this represents Reuben falling back into old behaviours and patterns instead of embracing a new identity or state of consciousness. He didn’t truly “leave the father’s house” in imagination — he reverted to an old way of being, violating the spiritual law of separation described in Genesis 2:24, which calls for leaving the old to cleave to the new.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.

It’s important to note the symbolism of virgin versus concubine here. The “wife” or “virgin” represents the pure, new state of being that one is meant to cleave to—the fresh identity aligned with your manifested desire. The concubine, however, often symbolises a secondary, lesser union—an attachment to an incomplete or inferior state, such as old habits or limiting beliefs. Reuben’s act of going to the concubine rather than the “virgin wife” reflects succumbing to the allure of old, imperfect ways instead of fully committing to the new.

The First Challenge in Manifestation: The Pull of the Subconscious

One of the first things anyone attempting to manifest new things about themselves will notice is this:

The subconscious immediately seduces them back into old ways.

No matter how strong the conscious intention is to be someone new, the subconscious clings to familiar patterns, beliefs, and behaviours. This internal tug-of-war is exactly what Reuben’s story is illustrating.

Manifestation is not just about thinking new thoughts or desiring new outcomes; it’s about training your subconscious mind to accept a new reality. And that requires persistent effort and awareness.

Why Does This Happen?

The subconscious mind operates out of habit and safety. It resists change because the “old self” is what it knows. So when you try to move forward—like Reuben trying to claim his father’s place—your subconscious may resist by pulling you back to the “father’s bed” of old habits and familiar patterns.

What Can We Learn from Reuben?

• Relapse into old patterns is normal: Don’t be discouraged when you slip back. This is a natural part of the process.

• True change requires leaving old attachments: You must mentally and emotionally “leave the father’s house” — the old self and limiting patterns — to cleave to your new identity.

• Persistence is key: Keep choosing the new path despite the subconscious pull. Reuben’s loss of birthright warns us that failing to do this means losing power and blessing.

• Manifestation is about alignment: It’s not about force or impatience, but about lovingly aligning your inner state with your desired reality.

The Solution: Cleave to Your Desired Wish Fulfilled

The antidote to falling back is to go back and cleave to your desired state of being, your wished-for reality. This means nurturing a deep, intimate union with the new identity or experience you want to embody.

This sacred union of adoration and oneness with the new self is beautifully described in the Song of Solomon, where love and devotion illustrate the merging of soul and desire. Manifestation requires that same kind of heartfelt “cleaving” — a total commitment to the new reality as if it were already yours.

By consciously turning your heart and mind to this “new virgin bride” — your imagined fulfilled wish — you gradually train your subconscious to accept and embody it, overcoming the pull of old patterns.

Final Thoughts

Reuben’s story isn’t about family scandal—it’s a timeless metaphor for the inner struggle everyone faces when manifesting change. It teaches us that the very first era of manifestation is a battle against the subconscious pull to return to old patterns.

In fact, the Bible can be seen as remarkably attuned to the psychological and mental health challenges of its readers. Its stories, symbols, and spiritual laws anticipate the very inner conflicts, doubts, relapses, and breakthroughs we experience on the path of transformation. It understands that change is not linear or simple but filled with setbacks and the deep tug of familiar mental habits.

This ancient text doesn’t prescribe moral rules—it maps out the terrain of the mind and spirit, showing us how to navigate the turbulent waves of consciousness. By recognising these struggles as part of the journey, rather than failure, we are empowered to keep moving forward with patience, clarity, and persistent devotion to the new state of being—just as the Song of Solomon invites us to do.